The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
