What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
