i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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