She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
