Yo dont text me then not text me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
