and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish i was in the wii world.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
