it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
