hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
