my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What a dumb baby whore.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
