I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
