I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
