I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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