Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
pray to the hookup gods
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize