In the future we'll all be gay
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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