Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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