I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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