I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
