He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
