I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
