if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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