Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
