The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
