If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize