i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
