Yo dont text me then not text me
Can Purell be used as lube?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
