drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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