omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
