i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is wine microwaveable?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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