Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
