He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
