they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
