is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize