His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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