To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
