On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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