I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize