He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
