PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
