I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
