I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
