garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I puked a lego.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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