Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
