Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i out mim tonsoeep
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