Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
COCAINE IS GR8
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