I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize