Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
only you would photoshop your dick
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
