He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
