I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
