with your own penis?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
