Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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