Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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