The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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