respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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