I am spending my child support on dildos
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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