that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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