First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
