I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
