people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
