Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
