So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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