when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There r osticjed everywhere
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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