Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
