All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
