Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
